Queen of the DLR’s heart

It’s been a while, and we know you’ve been pining for a fantasy cabinet update, so here it is.

Last time round, we presented to you the delicious King Wangchuck of Bhutan. Well, every fairy king needs a fairy queen (note to lawyers: this is not to suggest the engaged King Wanchuck is gay). And who better to make up the royal pairing than Queen Rania of Jordan?

Erm, hi. We're the DLR. We know you're a queen and all, but would it be awfully disrespectful to suggest you're a hottie?

And what a fairy tale hers is. A lowly commoner, Queen Rania was born to Palestinian parents in Kuwait, but met (now) King Abdullah II at a dinner party and they were engaged within two months. Awww. She’s also a keen advocate for children and education, thereby resembling our own Queen of Hearts, Princess Di, although without the various adulterous relationships and doe-eyed interviews with Martin Bashir.

But more importantly, Queen Rania is hot. That’s not just our opinion, that’s internet FACT. Harper’s Bazaar voted her the third most beautiful woman in the world in 2005. Third! Behind Angelina Jolie and Christy Turlington. What a crock! Fat-lipped Jolie and an underwear model ahead of our beloved Rania? Do they have the style, the grace, the elegance, the ability to have someone murdered no questions asked by offering their husbands sexual favours? No! Which is why Rania is our number 1. (Note to lawyerly people again: we don’t really think Rania’s done the hit job bit.)

Elegance, grace and just a few short words from getting you whacked (allegedly).

So, Your Phwoaresty, we remain your loyal subjects and wish to offer you our undying fealty (as long as you remain a hottie / agitate on behalf of the children [choose according to your gender / sexual proclivities]). In this day and age, what with Arab springs and disrespect for traditional hierarchies, that kind of oath is not to be snookcocked.

Alright, now you're showing off. Arty black-and-white side-profile shot? Tasteful tiara with Arabic script? The DLR salutes Your Royal Hotness.

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