America’s princess

The DLR was impressed by the enthusiasm of the Canadian people, 10% of whom can feel excited about something they do not believe is exciting. We read this in the inevitable article about the new royal couple’s visit to Canada (published before they even got there), in the Guardian:

Expectations for the visit are high. An Ipsos poll for the Ottawa Sun said, contradictorily, that while 55% did not know what the fuss was about a further 55% were excited about the visit with 5% planning to go and see the royal couple. If true that would see more than 1 million people line the streets.

The DLR was also struck by the assertion of Amanda Foreman on the Today programme this morning about Kate Middleton’s Americanness: her American clothes, her American teeth, her American slimness. Never mind what that says about Britons and their dental care, but we suspect we are being led to conclude that Americans only like things that are considered to be American.

According to the logic of the statistics above, then, multiplied to the level of syllogism, and divided by any common sense, if 55% of Americans love Kate Middleton, and 55% of Americans love Sarah Palin, then 110% think that Sarah Palin is Kate Middleton. We suspect on account of the glossy hair. We were going to graft Kate Middleton’s body onto Sarah Palin’s head to prove this interesting factoid, but it proved beyond on our PhotoShopping skills. Plus, mucking about on PhotoShop with poor, already over-photographed Kate Middleton — say, placing her next to her dead mother-in-law, doctored to be a quinquagenarian — would just be a step too far.

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